Note to readership: Citizen Kane = Citizen Bore

Last night after church we invited our precious friends Toby and his girlfriend, Kate, over to our house for dinner and a movie. Fun, right? WRONG. I mean, the company was great and the food was delish but the movie caused me to go into some sort of living vegetative coma. Literally: bored to death.

Trey has a new thing: renting classic movies from the university library. (again, no cable) This is a wonderful find due to the fact that it is free and through this gold mine I have been able to watch movies like "To Kill A Mockingbird" (fabulous. the book is better) "Sound of Music" (all-time favorite) and "Forrest Gump" (is that considered a classic?) So the past few times Trey has been to the library to pick out the movie, I have been pleasantly surprised at his choice. He has proven himself trustworthy at picking out the free movie.

Until last night.

While Kate and I gathered the food for the evening, Trey ventured to the library in search for the free movie du jour. He came back with "Citizen Kane".

Please, readers, do not judge me just yet for slamming the so-called greatest movie of all time. (and according The American Film Institute, it is just that: #1.) Well, this institute did not ask my opinion. I knew nothing about the plot of the movie. I went into the movie completely open and with unbiased opinions. To be honest, I thought it was a horror movie. There, I said it. I am not ashamed.

So the night progressed (at a painfully slow rate) and Citizen Kane was well underway. It was then, and only then, that I realized that this movie is in fact NOT a horror movie, much to my dismay. Have you seen this 'great' movie? If not, please, allow me the opportunty to give you a quick synopsis of the film: The entire movie is about this newspaper rich man that dies and his last word is "rosebud", or something equally as lame. The reporters are trying to find out what rosebud means in order to make a great story, so for the length of the film they are trying to solve the mystery of the rosebud. Is it a lady? A lost love? Nah, readers. Rosebud was his sled, for crying out loud. HIS SLED. Yes, the snow toy. The whole movie is about a sled.

Perhaps I am so ignorant of the greater things in life that I could not appreciate such a maginficent film, but for what it is worth, those AFI people had it all wrong. My vote: Shrek 2.