So I won't forget

There are things that have been going on in my head for a while now and I feel like it may completely get out if I blog about it. Maybe it's because I have no clue who reads it and I find comfort in that. Or maybe I treat this thing like a shrink. Or maybe I am just crazy.

At any rate, here it goes:

Have I mentioned we are living in a rental home right now? Since we moved a year ago, we have been living in a cute rental. Cute, small, rental. We still own our home in Hattiesburg (anyone interested?) and renting will allow us to really get to know our new city, figure out where we want to be long-term, and save money while we are doing it, all while avoiding two mortgages.

And I am so grateful for our home. Really, I am.

But every now and then I get selfish. I worry about worldly things that do not matter. I feel like I don't measure up. And I become dissatisfied.

We have moved 6 times in our 4 1/2 years of marriage (no lie) and I am ready to feel settled in a home. I am ready to buy new furniture. Furniture that reflects my style. Not the furniture we have. I want new rugs. I want new bedding. New art. New couch. New chairs. I want, I want, I want.

It's sad, really.

I don't need any of it. I have everything I need in this little rental. Trey is the most content person I have ever met. He doesn't need or want anything. For Christmas he asked for family time with me and Jones and a few days in the woods. Seriously. I had a list a mile long.

Selfish.

Anyway, I started my pity-party again a few weeks ago when we were decorating for Christmas. We don't have the room for the big tree that I want. We don't have a fireplace with a mantle to hang our stockings. We don't even have outside outlets to light up the porch. Poor me.

But then something happened the other night when Trey and I were sitting on our old couch looking at our little tree. Trey said it was his favorite tree ever. Jones' first tree. Our first tree as a family of three.

And then it hit me.

It doesn't matter that my Christmas budget didn't allow me to buy new and extravagant decorations. Or that our house is too small for a 12 foot tree. Or that we are sitting on a couch I don't love with our feet on a rug I could do without. None of that matters.

We have each other (that sounds like a Hallmark card, but hear me out). All our needs are met.

That is more than some can say.

The homeless and hungry in our city has been on my heart a lot lately - especially this time of the year. I guess I was oblivious to the fact that there were homeless in Hattiesburg, and even more so in Starkville. Never entered my mind. But our church here is a downtown church that reaches out to the homeless and hungry - an aspect that drew us in to the church - and I see it clearly now. And it breaks my heart.

And there are people going through this Christmas season missing their loved ones. I have heard of two young people - a college student and a young toddler - who have tragically passed away this month. Do you think their loved ones are worried that their tree doesn't measure up or their couch has more than a few spit up stains? Of course not. I cannot imagine what they are going through right now. I don't know them, but my heart breaks for them.

My sassy, hip, young-at-heart Nana had surgery a few weeks ago. She was supposed to be in the hospital for about three days. She is still there. In the ICU. After surgery, her kidneys stopped functioning. Her blood pressure dropped and she needed blood transfusions. The fluids given to her to help with her kidneys started to get in her heart and lungs. Then on Sunday we were told her intestines were leaking into her body. The doctors gave us little hope that she would make it past a couple of days without surgery, but her body would not be able to handle the stress of another surgery. If we decided to go through with the surgery, they gave us a 20% chance that she would make it out alive. That was Sunday. Today is Wednesday. She is still alive, even after the surgery. She remains sedated and on a ventilator, but has started to take some breaths over the machine. She even opened her eyes today for a few seconds. Tell me God isn't with us. People were on their knees praying the entire time she was in surgery. And those people are still praying - everyday.

My Nana was perfectly healthy before she went in for her surgery. We never imagined this outcome.

But I keep telling myself this is not tragic and that a life lived for the Lord will always have a happy ending, even though I selfishly want her to stay with us for many more years. Sometimes telling myself this makes me smile, other times cry uncontrollably.

I guess what I am saying is I wish I could turn back time and use my energy of wanting more, feeling sorry for myself and desiring things that, as it turns out, is completely pointless and use it to help the homeless, the hurting, the sick, the lonely. I wish I would have called my Nana and talked about her day instead of looking online for things I thought would make me happy.

So that's my New Year's resolution: be content. Be satisfied in what the Lord has so graciously blessed me with and not get so caught up in the things that I am told matters - my clothes, where I live, what my house looks like, how Jones is dressed.

Spend time with Jones, not time shopping for him. Love on him now, not focus so much on the future. Love Trey. Everyday. And make sure he knows how much I appreciate him.

Not take anything, anyone, or any day for granted. Focus on what matters.

If you are still reading, sorry for the rambling. Usually I just tell random stories and post pictures of my cute kid. But I feel better now. So, thanks. Whoever you are.

And, so I won't forget, here are our Christmas decorations this year - Jones' first Christmas:

8 months

Jones turned 8 months on the 17th.

8 months. Doesn't seem possible. But I say that every month and probably will every year that I am alive, so I digress.

At 8 months, sweet Jones:

* Has his 8th tooth coming in. 8 teeth in 8 months. Not too shabby.

* Does not sit still. Craws like a pro and stands up as long as his pinkie is holding on to something. He will take steps if you hold his hand.

* Loves to eat. Are we surprised here? He nurses 4 times a day (every 4 hours) and eats rice cereal in the morning with a fruit and most nights he will have a vegetable. Some nights he shows no interest in eating. I don't force it. I think mostly it has to do with sitting still in the high chair.

* Speaking of food, I have made the following for him: butternut squash, sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, green beans, pears, blueberries, cauliflower and asparagus. But his favorite is a banana. I take a bite, he takes a bite. Like a big boy. Cracks me up. He loves it.

* Loves - with all the love in his little heart - bath time. Some nights he cries when we get him out. He will sit all wrinkled up in ice cold water if we would let him. The kid loves to take a bath.

* SLEEPS ALL NIGHT. See previous posts if you are so inclined. This is my favorite thing about 8 months, if we are all perfectly honest. He sleeps from 7:00 until about 6:00 or 6:30.

* Has recently become pretty attached to me. And I don't hate it. I love you right back, Jones. Today we were in his playroom and he crawled from across the room stood up using my shoulder as his prop and kissed me square on the lips. A sweet, gently kiss. No teeth. Then he just stood and stared at me. Melted me heart.

* Started a new thing when he gets teased or thinks something is funny, he turns his nose up like he is snorting and shakes his head back and forth. Super random. Super adorable.

* Gets really excited when Trey comes home from work. It's both of my boys favorite time of the day.

* Still loves the things he has loved for months: Sophie, outside, strolling, swinging, saying da-da-da-ba-ba-da and books.

Monthly pictures are getting nearly impossible. I should really wait until I have someone with me to distract, but nonetheless, here they are:

(Please note the teeth marks on the crib)

More cuteness, for your viewing pleasure:

Love of my life. Stay a baby a little while longer.

Ho! Ho! Ho?

Jones met Santa.

It took two tries.

We have a very nice, adorable park in our neighborhood with playgrounds, walking track, tennis courts and several gazebos. We visit this park often.

They go all out with the Christmas lights every year. So when I saw a sign that said Santa was going to be at the park, I was more than thrilled to take our little one.

It was really cold the night Santa came to the park. But, all for the sake of pictures, I dressed Jones up in his Christmas gear, hats, coats and a blanket and we set out for the park after dark. Santa was going to be there, after all! And free hot cocoa!

I imagined a picturesque scene where children politely stood in line in their Christmas frocks and smiles as their parents (all chipper and kind) were waiting to take their sweet picture.

Wrong.

Average age: 12

And it was chaos.

And cold.

And when I heard the DJ play a rap version of Jingle Bells, I knew it was time to go.

We only saw Santa from afar.

In their defense, I know it was a lot of fun for the older kids. They got a free toy. They chatted it up with the big guy in the red suit. They played on the playground until their little hearts were content.

But me, with my runny-nose 8 month old, it was just a bit much.

A few pictures of the first attempt:

"Ya'll have completely lost touch with reality."

(Clearly I dressed up for the occasion)

So the next day, I dressed Jones in the same outfit (I had, in that picturesque image in my head, him in this green outfit. It would go great with Santa's red suit!) and headed out to the mall to see Santa.

I hate a cheesy Santa.

But this one wasn't so cheesy. Yes, he was planted in front of Dillards and not in a lighted gazebo of my dreams, but he was pretty real looking, as fall as mall Santas go. So I was pleased.

What I wasn't pleased about was a sign (and woman enforcing such sign) prohibiting personal cameras. What?! Trey is armed with camera, camcorder and my phone camera (for easy facebook posting, of course). It doesn't end there. You have to buy a package. The cheapest one? 29 bucks for a glossy 5 x 7 and 4 measly wallets.

Clearly Santa is causing dilemmas this year.

But nonetheless, I have a child celebrating his first Christmas. Santa we must see.


While in line, Trey and I discussed what Jones was going to do when we plopped him down in a large strangers lap while a over-caffeinated teenage girl waved stuffed animals in his face in hopes for a smile.

We knew he wouldn't cry. That is not his style.

We knew he wouldn't smile for the camera. That is certainly not his style.

He performed the way we thought he would: he studied. He wouldn't, even with all the efforts of his parents and a hyper teen, so much as look towards the camera. He just looked at Santa with a puzzled expression on his face.

Such the philosopher.

So, without further adieu, I give you Jones' first picture with Santa:

Happy birthday to my Nana!

Today is my sweet Nana's birthday! Unfortunately she is spending it in the ICU.
As some of you know, she had surgery on Thursday. Things turned out to be a little more complicated than anticipated and her kidneys started to not work properly afterwards, so she was moved to the ICU on Saturday. She is doing a little better everyday and her spirits are still good.

As far as her birthday goes, she says we will have a big party when she gets out!

Please do continue to keep her in your prayers. I am so thankful to be surrounded by such prayer warriors!

busy boy

We've been busy...

Busy helping with the dishes.
Getting in the fridge.

Crawling into boxes.

Going to youth group at church.

Getting every single toy out of the toy drawers.

Standing up and trying to walk.

Crawling all over the place.

Scaring Sophie.

Saying Da-da-ba-da-da, which Trey is convinced is his daddy.

Yes, he has been a busy, busy boy.

But he still takes time to take a little snooze in the stroller...

and all the angels sang

Good news on the sleeping front: we have succeeded in the no-nurse-night plan.

I have waited a while to post this, in fear of jinxing it, but it seems as though we have an all night sleeping baby now. He sleeps from 7 or 7:30 to about 6:30. Can I get an amen from the choir?

The first week was rough. The first night, as I posted, he cried for about 2 and 1/2 hours. Straight. It was a nightmare. But every night got better. Then one glorious night he slept until 5. He did that for about a week - waking up at 5 crying, then going back to sleep.

But now. Oh now, my friends. Now he sleeps 11 glorious hours without so much as a peep.

Ladies, still nursing your large baby through the night at almost 8 months? Stop it. I am a new woman. Last night I went to sleep at 8 and slept straight until 6 am. (minus the fifteen minutes I woke up at midnight because our music box Christmas ornament was playing. On it's on. Ghost of Christmas, perhaps?)

having a ball

A tennis ball, to be exact.

Henry's birthday party was Sunday in Starkville. He insisted on the theme and I must say my sister pulled off one heck of a tennis party. Everything was precious and they all had a ball.

I cannot believe my sweet little man will be FOUR tomorrow. Doesn't seem real. He is such a precious boy - a true joy to be around. And he and Jones are best friends for life!

Happy 4th Birthday to my sweet, sweet Henry! We love you so very much.

giving thanks

I have been blessed with so much. It is nice to have a time to really stop, think, and give thanks to our God.

Jones on his first Thanksgiving - it was about 80 degrees!

 

holding hands with his great-grandaddy on the swing.

Then we left early on Friday to spend the weekend with my family in Starkville. I was really bad at taking pictures.

Not to be left out during our Thanksgiving meal - sweet potatoes!

Lots of family, fun and food. A perfect Thanksgiving!

"And now, our God, we give you THANKS and praise your glorious name."

1 Chronicles 29:13

a week in Starkville

Like I mentioned earlier, Jones and I spent the week in Starkville at my parent's house a couple weeks ago. My whole family lives in Starkville, so we were able to spend lots of quality time with everyone.

Before I forget, here are some of the fun things we did:

- Went to Meridian one day to visit my sweet Mamaw in the nursing home. Jones gave her some good lovin!

- Ate breakfast with Lita and Grandaddy every morning. After they left for work, Nana would come over and play, play, play!



- Looked out the window at Lily, Kristen and Rob's Golden Retriever. She was fascinating!


- Thought Grandaddy's gooby singing was very funny.
- Played hard. And mastered pulling up to standing!

- Told secrets with his big cousin, Henry, before we took him to school one morning. They played together the whole week.

- Got some Christmas shopping done.
- Ate my Mama's good food.
- Had craft time with Jones at Dandy Doodlez
- Went out with Kristen, Rob, Henry, LT, Jake (my cousin) and Mary Kate (his girlfriend) to Tipico.
- Went to a new (to me!) Greek restaurant for lunch with two high school friends, Will and Bart. They loved Jones, naturally.
- Went to lunch at City Bagel with my sweet friend Amy. Oh how I have missed Amy and CB.
- Went out one night with Kristen and Laura. Just the three sisters! It was so fabulous. (And, yes, I get jealous when I know they get to hang out without me.) Went to Sushi Martini in the Cotton District:

Had the best time!