come on, U S of A

I bet you thought this was going to be an Olympic post of some sorts. If so, you are dead wrong. (although I, for one, can not wait to watch the opening ceremony Friday night.)

My country, land of the free, you have let me down.

This is not a political rant, though I do feel a bit less anxious posting this on a private blog.

Let me back up:

I was under the naive impression that I would have 12 weeks off with my newborn - 6 weeks paid, 6 weeks not.

On a whim,  I decided to call my HR lady at work to confirm such details.

I was wrong. Way wrong.

America provides ZERO paid maternity leave.  What? Did I miss something here? Have I been living under a rock my whole adult life? All I knew was that FMLA required that your job be secure for 12 weeks for a "family and medical emergency".  I just assumed since we, the honest taxpayers, pay for everything else for most of the American people - including health care and childbirth -  that we would get paid SOMETHING for maternity leave.

Ahem...

A few of my favorite things I learned from yesterday's phone call:

1. All prenatal visits and any illness due to pregnancy will be taken from those 12 weeks. (I hope to goodness I am not put on bed rest.)
   I responded with the simple question: "So every Dr. visit and ultrasound I have will be deducted from the time I have to recovery from childbirth and connecting with my newborn?"
   Her response: "Yes, but the simple solution would be to schedule your visits after working hours."
   Oh, right. Because I know a bunch of clinics open before 8 am and after 5 pm.  And on Saturdays, too, of course.
   Stupid.
   
2. She also informed me that the first 8  hours of labor and delivery will be deducted from my vacation time.
   What? Like I am on some tropical island somewhere with a fruity drink in hand? Whatev.
   
3. My "maternity leave", if you will, will be deducted from my major medical time off and I will be paid only for the amount of major medical that I have acquired. Which would be awesome if I have been here for 15 years already.
   Let's do the math here:
   I have been working since Nov. 16. You receive 8 hours of major medical per month. I have already taken one day for my Jones' surgery and two days for his strep throat.
   I have 40 hours. ONE WEEK. Add in the months until January and I will have two weeks. TWO.
   Let's all hope I don't break my leg before childbirth.

I told the nice lady that this was all just very, very sad.  She assured me it was not. Um...Yes.  I am telling you, woman, it is.  This is sad.

I realize you all probably already knew this about our system, and I bet you think I am dramatic. (hint: I am)

But I was clueless about all of this.

So I did a little research.

Did you know that there are only 4 countries in the world that have no national law mandating paid maternity leave? We are right up there with Papua New Guinea.

Apparently European countries have the most generous policy regarding maternity leave.  I have landed on Sweden, which provides generous parental leave: all working parents are entitled to 16 months paid leave per child, the cost being shared between employer and the state. Yes, that sounds about right.  I should move there.

I realize our countries are designed very differently and there is always good with bad. But this doesn't change my feelings about the matter.

I am feeling better about things today than I was yesterday. I know we will be fine.  I am thankful for a husband with a good job and that my job will, in fact, be waiting on me when I return to work. And the most important thing, regardless of whatever happens, is a healthy baby.  
But I can promise you I will not be going back to work until the very last minute of that 12 week period.

This is just all very sad. Do you agree?

And you know what I read when I get sad? I read about Beyonce. Which you can read about here.


Have you read about Beyonce? You should. Warning: there is profanity.  But it is about the funniest thing I have ever read on this here Internet.  And for whatever reason, it makes me feel better about my country and no paid maternity leave.

Thanks for listening to me vent, friends. 

God bless America.