backtracking a little, and thoughts on doing.

http://skaggsfamily.blogspot.com/2010/12/so-i-wont-forget.html

It is likely because I have spent the better part of today organizing my pictures, but for whatever reason, I am feeling nostalgic.  I am reading some of my old posts tonight and re-read one of my favorites.

Hard to believe January 1, 2015 will mark 4 years since my Nana passed away.  I wrote this blog post around Christmas 2010, when she was still in the hospital.  I think things really started to stir in my heart around this time.  And those feelings and thoughts have only gotten louder, stronger, and sometimes more annoying than before.

A realization that I had a few years ago - Jesus did not come to this earth and live among sinners to make us comfortable, or that we could be "blessed" by our standards.  Jesus, I believe, sometimes calls us to be crazy uncomfortable.  When we are at our least, we need Him the most. When we say YES to something that He calls us to do, even when we have been screaming NO for years, we are forced to rely on Him, not our own circumstances or knowledge.  I have come to the conclusion that nothing is comfortable about truly following Him. Would you agree? When I am comfortable in my Christianity, I discover that I am following what I want and there is actually little to no growth or closeness to Christ whatsoever.  Just going through the motions kind of Christianity.

It's comfortable putting on pretty clothes and going to our pretty church to worship with other Christians.  It's comfortable smiling and being kind and saying a blessing before our meals.  It's comfortable for me to say I will pray for the sick, the hungry, the homeless, the fatherless, then go back to my safe, comfortable home with my safe, healthy family and eat a good meal and forget that promise I made hours earlier.  It's comfortable for me to say "I am blessed because of all I have around me".  And it is comfortable to want more, to give less, and to thank God for the easy life He has given me.

It's easy for me to get caught up in the things that the world tells me are important. I want to update our bathrooms. There are people in this world with no clean water in which to drink. I want new bedding. There are parents and their babies right this minute sleeping under bridges. My children are procrastinating bedtime again. There are babies all over without a mother to read to them. Life was so much simpler before I started thinking like this.  

I get caught up in things of this world.  Things that will fade - things that do not matter.  In 2015 I hope to get even more uncomfortable in my Christianity.  Things that keep me up at night and keep me in tears and in prayer - I hope I get out of my comfortable familiar circumstances and do something about it.  I can't un-know what I know, or un-see what I have seen. And I can't get to Heaven at the end of my life and face God and just say " I cared.  I didn't do anything because it was too uncomfortable and I didn't really have the time or money, but I cared."

I have a funny feeling that God calls us to care AND do.  And the doing is making me very uncomfortable.