I focus a lot on the "challenge" that he is. Because, well, he is. His teachers know it. I know it. Trey knows it. Our family knows it. He requires a lot. There is no downtime with him. No calm, just storm.
But he's smart. So smart. And sweet. And he's mine. And I'm feeling emotional that he will be four in just a couple of weeks.
For whatever reason God thinks that, with His help, I am equipped to be his mother. I doubt myself almost daily, but somehow I'm always brought back to this fact - he is a gift. A precious, priceless gift. I know this to be true all the time, but if I'm honest, I forget sometimes. He's a handful. Yes! But, everyday he's getting older and everyday is a day closer that he will not want me to read him just one more book and he will stop saying "lay by me for just a minute" as a stalling tactic before bed. He will have friends that he will want to be with more than me. He will go to school. He will need me less and less. A girl will break his heart, and he will break a heart. He keeps growing and growing and one day I'm afraid I'll look back and regret the times I cried out of frustration with him or wished he could just be still for two seconds and not hit, yell, or run everywhere for just a day.
I'm scared he's growing up right before me while I'm wishing away his childhood.
So I'm going to try to stop getting angry and easily frustrated and feeling defeated at the end of everyday. He's a challenge, but he's a joy. And I want to choose to focus more on the joy.
So I won't forget some of those funny and simple joys:
1) I was in the laundry room recently and he walked up to me and asked why I didn't have a tinkler. (note to self- close my bathroom door)
I responded that God made boys and girls differently, thinking that would satisfy him. He looked at me like I was an idiot then said "so Anna Joy's fell off too?".
2) tonight I was laying in bed with him and he looked at me, touched my face and said "you're eyes are beautiful".
3) he walked up to Anna Joy, gave her a hug, and said "I love her so much. She's my best friend ever."
4) even if it's rainy and cold, he says almost everyday: "it's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Gotta love the optimism.