Belly update

I can't believe I am almost half way through this pregnancy. It has flown by faster than I could have imagined. Overall I am feeling pretty good, much better than during the 1st trimester. I have some days that I don't feel fabulous, but I can't complain.

Jones likes to talk about his baby sister and pulls up my dress or shirt (sometimes in public) to "see baby". We are working on that. I can't wait to see him with Anna.  He loves Noelle Adams so much and is so sweet with her - even when he is loving on her a bit too hard.  It's going to be fun watching them grow up together. I can't wait!

I am struggling a lot knowing that I will have to go to work when she is so tiny. I didn't work when I was pregnant with Jones and was able to stay home when he was young. I wish that so badly for this child. I am already dreading leaving her.

I know that is terrible, but it's the truth. I am trying to not focus on it, because that only makes me sick. The truth is I love where we are in life right now. I love that Trey is so happy and satisfied with work. He is truly doing what he is supposed to do and to see that is amazing. Jones is in a good place - he loves school. He is thriving. He is learning so much and is becoming so social. I know he is where he needs to be. With his personality (and energy level) he needs organization and structure. I know he is getting that at school more than he could get it from me at home.

But a baby?? I am seriously struggling. A baby needs his or her mama. Not a stranger.

I know sending a baby to daycare or to a sitter is completely normal. I know millions of mamas go through this everyday. I just keep praying for peace and for the desire to stay home to go away.

I love my job and I know, if for nothing else, I must work to provide health insurance. So I just keep on going knowing that in some ways I am doing the best I can for my family, even if I am not physically there with them.

Didn't mean to get off on that track. Just kinda happened. Sorry if I sound like I am ungrateful or complaining. Just being honest. So thankful for my family for putting up with me!

In happy news: I have decided on a nursery and can't wait to get started. I will wait for one more ultrasound to triple check that Anna is in fact a girl, then will get started.

With that said, a glorious belly shot.
I am pulling my dress in an awkward fashion. Excuse the look.

18 weeks (I think.)