Keeping it real Friday

There is a good possibility that I am slowly (or perhaps not so slowly) losing my mind.

Play along with me and let's reenact just a few of my losing it moments this week.

1. We have a Volvo station wagon.  It is affectionately known as either the shaggin' waggin' or the sliver bullet - per the previous owner's (my BFF) request.  I like to think of it as the blessing car, but that is far too profound for this entry.
   
   Tuesday morning that silver bullet was my arch enemy.
   
   See, we only  have one key to said wagon.  And since Trey and I both drive it from time to time,  it does not live on either key chain.  It is just a lone key floating around in a sea of chaos. Looking back, I realize this is a recipe for disaster.
   
   I think you see where this is heading so let's just cut to the chase: I locked our only car key inside the car along with our only car seat.
   
   I first called work to tell them I would, again, be a touch late coming in. My mom, super woman if you will, came to take us to work and school with Henry's spare booster seat (don't call child services - I was desperate).
   
   One call to a locksmith, three hours and 60 bucks later, I had my key.  Geez that was an expensive mistake.
   
   
   
2. Last night I was heading to get groceries.  We have nothing to eat at our house. If my wife and mothering skills were judged solely on our fridge and pantry, I would fail.
   
   My mom mentioned she had clipped coupons for me and that they were waiting on her kitchen counter.  Nobody was home, but I could just let myself in using the keypad on the garage door. That keypad turned on me, I tell you. For the life of me I could not get the garage to open. I tried. I know I had the correct code.  I became angry.  I cried.  Apparently I really wanted those coupons.
   
   After ten minutes of failed attempts to open the garage door, I left my parents house....empty handed and full of tears.  FOR REAL.  Over coupons.  I went straight home and declared tonight was not grocery night.  Food and diapers can wait.  I needed 30 Rock and my bed.   I need  Tina Fey.
   
   
3. I show up this morning to drop Jones off at school with my camera in hand.  Muffins with Mom. How precious. I get to eat breakfast with my sweetie and his friends.  Jones and I talked about it the whole way to school "Mommy gets to eat muffins with you. Aren't we cute? This is what memories are made of, my dear child".
   
   I eagerly and happily show up to the cafeteria  ready to snap photos and get my muffin on. 
   
   Empty.  No one.  Me, Jones and the custodians.
   
   Because of course it makes sense to have Muffins with Mom to celebrate Mother's Day .... which is next week. 

I understand that after posting the overly sensitive, scatter-brain things I have done this week makes me sound a bit uterus-occupied.  I can assure you that is not the case.  No bun in the oven for this girl.  Just good ole' solid losing it.

TGIF.