1) it is so hot. Not like a little hot. Not like "oh I may need to wear shorts"-hot. NO. like "i think I need to stay inside and stay naked"-hot. 106 degrees in the 'burg. that's not even heat index. Add that and you get about 112. Global Warming, perhaps? You decide. I'm not Al Gore; I don't have all the answers. But perhaps the lady from Texas who was in line in front of me at Target does:
red-neck lady: "It's hot here. I mean, I ain't never been in such heat and I am from Texas"
Husband/boyfriend/baby-daddy: "It's global warming, ain't it!"
red-neck lady: "There ain't no such thing. I ain't going to go off believing all that bull-s." (in front of illegitimate children, no less.)
So there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. On to the next subject.
2) Is it a requirement for the ladies at the tax office to be mean and misserable? I mean, I know they are not having fun, but if we are all honest here, neither am I so just give me my car tag and let's be on our way. Seriously. No smiles from these ladies. I even tried to throw in a little joke. I got nothing. She didn't even look up from her computer. She just handed me a piece of paper to sign and asked for pratically my life savings for a car tag.
I am thinking about sending her flowers are something. I wanted to ask her "Hey, is everything ok in your life? I mean, is there something you would like to talk about?" because from the looks of all the ladies behind the counter each one had just lost their favorite pet, all their money at the casino, and their nicest pair of panties. These people were a sad sight. Yes, I am most definitely sending them all a happy tomorrow. They need a little light in their life. Perhaps I can take my show tunes to their office and practice. That should do it.
11 comments:
I know every time I lose MY favorite pair of panties, it's the worst day of my life.
OH DEAR DAUGHTER IN LAW !! YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR CALLING - THERE IS A GROUP HERE AT THE DRIVERS LICENSE BUREAU IN GULFPORT THAT COULD SURE USE YOUR SHOWTUNES. COME TO THINK OF IT THAT YOUNG GIRL THAT WAITED ON US AT LUNCH SAT. LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD LOST HER NICEST PAIR OF PANTIES!! PRACTICE REAL GOOD AND I KNOW THEY WILL SMILE AGAIN!! ENJOYED THE WEEKEND. LOVE THE CAR! SOPHIE LOOKED REAL GOOD HANGING OUT OF THE SUNROOF ~ PEGGY
i, too have had the unfortunate experience you described with the licence plate people here in memphis. i, too, tried to open dialogue. Me: "it's hot outside." lady: "i LIKE it hot outside and I just wish everyone would quit complaining about it." OHHHHKAYYY...i think that it is a job requirement that they are miserable.
Are you sure you weren't buying your tag in DeSoto County? Is there a nasty school somewhere in the state that all of these people are sent to before they are allowed to get behind a computer and confront the public? And post office workers go to the same school. I haven't heard you sing but perhaps a little more practice on the showtunes -- we want to be damn sure they get the full effect and maybe, just maybe a little ray of happiness might cross their otherwise miserable, twisted faces. Was that too strong?
I can't even talk about the rude people employed in the financial aid office out here. REdiculous. and furthermore, the school's best baseball player transfered schools because the FA office was so rude to him after his father died. true story.
I think you and I should band together, go around to all the government employed workers, and give a customer service seminar. complete with show tunes.
this post reminds me of a seinfeld episode. love it.
I love that you put they lost their nicest pair of panties! You crack me up!
You have got to be one of the most funnest people that I have ever met :) They would really appreciate your show tunes. You should go for it!
Al Gore does NOT have all the answers. Remember, he claimed to have invented the internet.
You really should've asked them how their day was going. Unless you don't want to hear their whole life story or don't want to get into a theological discussion. My dad does that all the time and he ends up being there longer that he planned. But at least they get something off their chest.
And I have to agree with Ashley. I love that you put they lost their nicest pair of panties. I've been known to get a little edgy when I can't find my favorite pair.
Maybe you should perform Amanda/Tricia/Lindsey's rendition of the Growing Pains theme song. They'd LOVE it!
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